it's been sometime since i last touched my blog again
so some updates:
17/10/2009
met baby and initially we intend to hit the cathay for some movies
on our way there,
i thought of asking cheryl&cheng to go Pulau Ubin for some cycling on 18/10/2009
but then they decided to go today
lol
met them at the train but then we think it was too late to go there
scare no more ferry
so we went to pasir ris instead
did some cycling and settle our dinner at EHub
home aftermath
18/10/2009
totally forgotten
19/10/2009
work
rush back to jurong
had dinner w baby & his family
accompany baby to buy his stuffs for NS
and home after that
20/10/2009
work
met dear at bugis for dinner after work
and went orchard for some shopping
home
21/10/2009
didnt attend work as requested by my dearest
went to his house early in the morning
and guess what?
that fellow not at home
make me bomb everyone call to wake him up
pissed
after that sleep at his house
and met ck at jurong polyclinic
went to see doctor
and requested to do xray for further medical review
then went IMM w them for lunch
and JP to meet up w the rest
baby went for his haircut
and he became botak!
stupid ck go video somemore
damn funny
then went to slack for awhile
and all went home
that moment when baby kiss and hug me before he go
makes me feel like crying
i can't bear to let go of my arms
sobs
22/10/2009
baby went in NS
unfortunately i can't accompany him
due to my work
thinking back,
i hate myself so much
and i hate the fucking company too
i know baby is upset that i can't go too
hais
so sorry
work was terrible for me
i burst into tears again
i just don't understand why is there such nasty customers in Singapore
damn it
maybe that day was just not for me
before i went to work that day,
i already cried once
i don't know exactly what happen to me
maybe im too insecure?
i don't know
and facing a long list of nasty customers makes me weep
i hate the useless me
i hate myself for being such a letdown
i hate myself for always letting hubby worry for me
from the very first day of work,
he's my motivation to keep me going on
everyday when i felt like giving up,
he kept repeating telling me to endure and he's there for me
and i will get to see him when i knocked off
but that day i know it v well,
i can't see him after i knocked off
i have to go home all by myself
i hate the feeling of not having hubby by my side
then i realised how reliant i am
when Zaki came,
he asked me why i looked so sad?
i felt like crying again but i hold back
he then told everyone of us
if we were to give up now,
why do we have to endure for the past 1 yr plus?
why didn't we quit school from the v 1st semester?
what do we really want from it?
all the question he asked kept repeatedly appearing in my mind
his words are power
he knocked alot of sense into my mind
he teaches me alot of stuffs
i don't want to be a tortoise
i don't want to hide away when i faces trouble
so hubby, i will stay strong till the day when you booked out
you promised to give me a big hug when you see me
i'm waiting for it
baby, by the time you see all this
i want to tell you,
you don't have to worry for me
because i will be a strong girl
nothing can beat me down
ok?
i'm missing you hell lots
after work that day,
went to meet gs and her friends
had dinner at causeway
and home after that
23/10/2009
2nd day without hubby
went to work
i'm strong that day
cuz i have been telling myself hubby will call me later
had dinner at home
waited for hubby's call
after hanging up w him
went to sleep
24/10/2009
3rd day without hubby
work
after work i felt sad
hearing everyone meeting their bf makes me down
i'm all alone again
went westmall for lunch
and home aftermath
bath and fall asleep
wake up had dinner and talked to hubby on the phone
now here posting
and im going off to bed soon
baby, im so missing you
sobs
